Get all 9 Monsieur Herr releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Bombarded by Vibes from All Sides, Please Stop the Music / All I Really Want to Do - Single, Glossy Taxidermy - EP, Reverb Cemetery, Replay Cement, The Dregs of Culture: Rare, Alternate, & Unreleased Tracks 2023-2018, The Integrity Project, Dusk AM, and 1 more.
1. |
I'm Gonna Obliterate You
03:09
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I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna obliterate you
When I'm through you'll just be atoms
Keep your soul in a pocket-size gem
There's a B-2 flying over your home
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna annihilate you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna exterminate you
Every nation's mobilizing
The FBI is at your door
There's a drone strike coming towards your home
There's a ticking parcel in your mail
TAKE IT IT'S YOURS TAKE IT IT'S YOURS TAKE IT IT'S YOURS TAKE IT IT'S YOURS
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna obliterate you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eviscerate you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eradicate you
There's a B-2 flying over your home
I've got the President on the phone
He's calling the NATIONAL GUARD
You'll have to decide. You'll have to decide. You'll have to decide.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna obliterate you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eviscerate you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna incinerate you
THERE'S A B-2 FLYING OVER YOUR HOME
SAYO-FUCKING-NARA
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2. |
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(We have a direct line to Paris)
There was a lass at the Louvre last evening
Her hair was white and her chest was bare
The least they could do after chopping her arms off is give her something decent to wear
I'm not going to tell you what love is
I know time and space are relative
These things never occur to me
Even if I had a time machine
The you you are is the you I'd see
Abstract concepts make sense in my mind
I know everything intuitively
If I could add something new to the subject
Doubt it would be of any profundity
I'm waiting here outside the pyramid
She's flown off on a big black swan
She's had a fling with the Mona Lisa
I can't imagine how they'd get on
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3. |
A Date With Elvis
02:30
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Don't you want to go on a date with Elvis?
The Elvis in your heart and the Elvis of the flesh can never coexist
Don't you want to go on a date with Elvis?
Ev'rybody's goin' on a date with Elvis
He picks you up in his private plane and takes you to his favorite spot
Eating bacon sandwiches together on a vacant lot
Python's on the telly when you fly back home for bed
But either he's in aspic or he's dead
You think you see his spectre floating by the burial mound
The one you think you know is not the one that's in the ground
Nowadays he comes inside a can
Nowadays he's more idea than man
Don't you want to go on a date with Elvis?
(Don't you want to go on one?)
Ev'rybody's goin' on a date with Elvis
(Everybody's gone on one(!))
There's a gawky man outside in Buddy Holly glasses
He asked for you by name and he says his name is Elvis
But he's not suspended in a velvet frame (yet)
Don't you want to go on a date with Elvis?
The Elvis of the heart or of the flesh?
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4. |
Oh Wait
02:43
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If it seems disingenuous, then I am well aware
I could do a lot with just a little savoir-faire
There's nothing doing here
Wish I could just disappear
I'm working out what I am saying as I speak
What's with that side-eyed sneer?
Don't just up and disappear
Momentous occasions for which I have come ill-prepared
(I am coming unprepared)
I'm reading the warning signs now and they all say 'beware'
(Bold red letters say 'beware')
Where's the nearest bottle of rosé in this zip code?
My heart is pounding and I think it might explode
There's nothing doing here
Look up 'How to Disappear'
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5. |
Hypnotic Poison No. 96
03:51
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"The algae's always greener in the other muck pond," he said
"Muck pond's an interesting way of putting it," she said
"Just one week," she thought, she wouldn't be against
If he knew what life was like on the other end of the fence
Well, this past weekend he was too sick to move
Thought it might be the flu, or some viral infection
But into the bathroom with abdominal pains
He looked at himself and saw a woman's reflection
His wife came in with a smirk and said,
"You were saying about 'muck pond'?"
She looked him up and down, like he'd look at her
But he was too paralyzed to respond
He felt lighter—he knew that for certain
His wife stood back and hoped he'd see the appeal
And when she asked him to peel back the curtain
She knew then for sure what she was seeing was real
He was an alright looker as a man, she'd say
But even better as a female
His new form didn't register to him as himself
And he just fainted with an exhale
It's only a physical form,
It's only a physical form, honey
I'll exist here with you if you exist here with me
Well, their marriage had been strained for a while
But this was like Christmas, she'd wager
Give him encouragement, a few trips to Nordstrom
And being a girl would become second nature
"The algae's always greener in the other muck pond!" she said
"The green of your dress really brings out your eyes," her wife said
"I never thought I would feel as free as I do now," she said
It's only a physical form, honey
I'll exist here with you if you exist here with me
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6. |
Nostalgia Culture
02:43
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I wanna see inside your brain
Pull out the meat and have a go
Find the places where you put the towns
There's an ocean by your frontal lobe
I wanna see inside your brain
Is there a sea inside your brain?
Can you spell "intellectual property"?
Can you spell "intellectual property"?
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Nostalgia—
I just hope it's tax deductible
Where did you buy those glasses from?
They sell them everywhere these days
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Nostalgia cult-tchure
Grow it in a petri dish
Grow it in a petri dish
Grow it in a petri dish
Grow it in a petri dish
[Premeditated and extensively rehearsed 'unngh' noise]
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7. |
Synchronicity III
03:37
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Come out with your hands up, this is a raid
Everybody hands up, this is a raid
Don't make this any harder than it has to be
Just come out quietly
Come out quietly
Hey, those three guys look familiar
Those three blond cops look familiar
Those three blond-haired lawmen I'd know anywhere
I saw them everywhere
Saw them in '83
On Top of the Pops, maybe
Sorry folks, the party's over
Hand over all your weed and alcohol
Who here runs this operation?
We gave the DEA a call
I thought I knew them from somewhere
I knew I knew them from somewhere
Yeah, they're looking older, maybe 70
They've aged impeccably
But that's them, definitely
(We used to joke about this)
We haven't the faintest of what you're talking about, ma'am
We're only ordinary officers of the law
Every little breath she takes is magic
King of pain around your finger
I own every album, I know every song
Sang 'till I burst a lung
And started reading Jung
Wish I was still so young
We're not the men you think we are (nooo)
Just can it and get in the car (oohhh)
We'll confiscate your contraband (oohhh)
We're not in any famous band
I'm not crazy, I can prove it
I have all the proof to prove it
That this is just some government conspiracy
To make a fool of me
It's synchronicity
Gee, that was a close one, wasn't it, Andy?
Gee, that was a close one, wasn't it, Stingo?
I know money's tighter than it used to be
On a cop's salary
It's life, though, I agree
But this pot and pinot gris
Helps out our dignity
Helps out our dignity
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8. |
Glass Taxi
04:29
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Life isn't something to be flippant about
But you're behind the wheel, may as well be in a blackout
Taking a ride in a glass taxi
Taking a ride in a glass taxi
Here in the space where the law don't apply
You're still on Earth, down Park Avenue you fly
There's a constellation that spells D-U-I
Taking a ride in a glass taxi
Struck from the side in a glass taxi
Oh, it might be a cliche, true
But nothing's a cliche when it's happening to you
I wish I had more than just sentimental jive
The world would be markedly worse if you weren't alive
Just like the line in the pavement where the Berlin Wall stood
Even when the injury heals, I don't imagine the memory could
Life isn't something to be flippant about
Taking a ride in a glass taxi
Taking a ride in a glass taxi
Taking a ride
Oh, Christ
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9. |
Sulking
04:26
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Crawling up my legs tonight
Turning every color to a gradated gray
Boring through my ear canal (tonight)
Casting a black shadow onto everything I see
That I see
I can hear the wind outside (tonight)
I thought it might just be love, but I really don't think so
No, it isn't love tonight, oh no
If it was, I'd feel conflicted
But I just feel low
So low
I'm going home with a scoff and a deep sigh
I'm going home to resume my skulking
Leave me alone to watch the paint dry
Leave me alone to enjoy my sulking
Crawling up my back tonight
If I were a country
This would be my national pastime
Eating at my heart tonight
I can't go to your wedding reception
I'm booked to brood all day that day
I'll put the "fun" in "dysfunctional"
I'll put the "lad" in "maladjusted"
I'm really fun when I'm all by myself
I'm but a lad when I'm all by myself
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10. |
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[Spoken word bit]
The room was made up like a Renaissance painting
Lit evocatively like a noir detective film
They'd never closed the curtains, never dimmed a light
But there was a first time for everything that night
[Singing bit]
And a lone strip of moonlight shines upon the bed
And a lone strip of moonlight shined directly on their heads
In the dim light, in a long embrace
They looked across the bed at an animal's face
They were coherent but they were swine
A brand new skull upon a human spine
And a lone strip of moonlight shined upon the bed
And the lone strip of moonlight transmogrified their heads
In the evening when the moonlight's strong
You don't want to lay there in the moonbeams too long
It was like Noah's Ark above the neckline
Animal skulls upon the spine
Found new positions and new techniques
Found it hard to kiss with mandibles and beaks
They're drinking coffee in an insect's den
If only Kafka could've seen them then
Their friends all went off to live human lives
In human beds with their human wives
Drop the bathrobes with a wink and a nod
Bask in the moonrays as a cephalopod
And a lone strip of moonlight shines upon the bed
And the lone strip of moonlight transmogrified their heads
And they throw the curtains open one final time
And the lone strip of moonlight melted them to slime
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11. |
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MY ARMS TURN TO JELLY
MY LEGS INTO MILK
A SNAKE'S TAIL SPROUTS AS THE PARROTS FLY BY
THE ORGAN PLAYS PAST MIDNIGHT
NOTE PERFECT LIKE CLOCKWORK
AS MY PUPILS NARROW TO SLITS
AND MY FLESH TURNS TO SCALES
I WAS PULLED INTO THE WALTZ FOR NON-DANCERS
PULLED INTO THE WALTZ
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Monsieur Herr California
Monsieur Herr is a one-man musical conglomerate and art project out of Southern California, consisting of one Riley Maiden. Likely best described an art-pop "fake band" (self-diagnosed) with an anxious edge, snarky wit, and avant-garde sensibility, M. Herr has been writing, recording, and producing music since 2018, and is lauded as one of the musicians this world has ever produced. ... more
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